Section II -- A Look at Rural Families Weighing Educational Options: Sharing Results

The stories of the families who participated in this study illuminate the decision-making process of parents with children who are deaf. This work can be used as a foundation by other researchers who wish to expand the study by increasing the number of participants, by targeting larger geographical areas, or by examining in greater depth the overall themes and styles of parenting that emerged from the data. (See Section IV for more details about the scope and sample of this study.)

The experiences shared by these families increase understanding of the challenges parents face in making educational and placement decisions for their children who are deaf and illustrate the strengths families bring to the educational setting. To develop true partnerships, educators and families must build relationships upon trust and respect. As Brantlinger (1991) remarks: There is a need to avoid the patronizing image of the professional expert benevolently guiding the ignorant parent (p. 257).

It is the researcher's intent that other parents, educators, and service providers take comfort in knowing that young children who are deaf develop into strong, independent individuals. The experiences shared by parents in the study offer insight and advice to others who—by choice or circumstance—find themselves thrust into the world of deafness.

Perhaps other parents with children who are deaf can benefit from the experiences and advice offered by families in this study as they reflect on their children's educational history, convey a sense of reality intermingled with hope, and offer encouragement, support, and reassurance to families just beginning to struggle with difficult communication and educational placement decisions for their children who are deaf.

Parent Comments—From Fear to Hope

The researcher felt fortunate that the families shared their joys and sorrows; in the course of conducting the interviews, the researcher experienced a range of emotions from fear to a sense of hope. To encourage individuals in the field of deafness to focus on hope instead of fear, this study is concluded with statements made by parents—statements about their reaction to the initial discovery of their child's deafness, immediately followed by statements from that same child's middle school years.

When child was nine months old:

It is like, I don't know. When you find out that your perfect baby is not perfect. That is like somebody hits you in the gut. I don't know, it is hard to describe…. It is like your whole world is falling apart and you don't know what to do.

When child was 11 years old:

What he had last year [regular education with resource room], it worked because he came out one of three in the fifth grade that stayed on the principal's list. I'm proud.

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When child was two months old:

I was sitting there watching the movie…. It was like I was up above watching myself watching the movie thinking, 'I have a child who will not enjoy this. I have a child who will not go to movie theaters and who will not understand what is going on and what do I do?'

When child was 14 years old:

[Mother speaking] I am encouraged by the fact that I think Bobby is going to be just fine. Bobby's self-esteem is high…his reading and writing ability has improved….it is good enough for him to communicate on a basic level…. [Father speaking] We now know that he can survive.

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When child was 22 months old:

[Mother speaking] I felt like I wanted to die. I felt like I had fallen into a pit, like I was in Hell. [Father speaking] You always told me, like you had been cheated. [Mother speaking] Like I had been cheated. It felt like somebody came in the middle of the night and took my child and replaced her with somebody that looked exactly like Susy but just was not…all your hopes and dreams for your child are gone.

When child was 11 years old:

It just amazes me that she can understand, she can comprehend all this stuff without having speech, you know, to back it up. I mean, she understands protons, neutrons, and electrons, and all that kind of stuff…it just blows my mind when she understands all this…we tell her, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' And she says, 'I want to be a judge' and I say, 'Good, you can be anything you want to be.'

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When child was two years old:

Oh, it was [as if] the world came to an end for both of us.

When child was 12 years old:

Math is a strength, spelling is a strength. It is rewarding to see that he is interested in it. He works on those subjects all by himself. I do not have to tell him and so far he has gotten all A's in math and spelling and it does make us feel good that there is something in which he has interests.

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When child was 11 months old:

I was very saddened and it is a process…; it is a grieving process that I went through. At first I was angry…denial…guilt, but I was very angry. Then I was unsure as to what to do or how to go about doing it.

When child was 13 years old:

She is a capable learner. She is an avid reader…I can't see where she should have any problems academically if she continues to pursue her dream of being a doctor and going to medical school.

Go to Section III: Background

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